Confessions
of an Ex-Minister: Part I
Confessions
of an Ex-Minister: Part II
(Tennessee Temple years, standing up to Afman the KJV slayer, Sally Buck modeled Jesus to a fundamentalist...greatly influenced me, Post graduation anecdotes, between faith & skepticism passions...what I wished everyone understood with website, synchronicity & God, doctrinal struggles... departure from dispensationalism to Amillenialism, JBS in Lodi, Olan Mills Church Directory rep in Central California & people I'd met, Domelle victim committed suicide, Biblical Euphemisms often #1 Google page on the subject, Paul Kurtz impact, Michael Novak was special, my departure from faith was not personality driven...I get into the why, only Robert Price & myself were the only Trump supporters with skeptical websites, meetings with Evelyn Rothschild, Janet Yellen, Fabians, stand against gay marriage that DC Cardinal "plagerized", Obama & Pope noticed, conservative groups as controlled opposition & why conservatives lose ground...what I said to The Heritage Foundation's rep, and finally what I learned being around organized secularism)
March
15, 2026
Moving
forward, I had two viable options, Bob Jones and Tennessee Temple (TTU) to
attain a degree and both were lukewarm on the KJV. Two alumni influenced
my decision to go to TTU. I would have loved to have gone to Liberty, but
it wasn’t practical for me in time for the upcoming semester. I had
heard stories of TTU’s Dr. Fred Afman roughing up several students (some
from my Haywood County, NC home.) I knew that I’d have to take classes
with Afman. I wasn’t thrilled with my options, yet I was determined to
be the first person in the history of my family tree (either side) to
graduate from college.
With
the reprobate Trinity leadership fiasco behind me, some folks urged me to
quit college, my parents were amongst them. That said, my dad changed his
stance, and “came up” with $700 enabling me to enroll. This “secret
fund” became an issue in their marriage. However,
Trinity never shook my faith…but it taught me the
ugliness of church politics which toughened me up. Temple built my
faith…but along the way challenged it. I’ll always be appreciative for
the high-quality education, how they taught students to think, and for all
the great expositors of scripture that spoke on campus. Nat Phillips work
with preachers was outstanding! Nat Phillips had depth, was well read and
the perfect choice for teaching aspiring preachers;
it was Phillips’ that brought up one of Will
Durant’s greatest insights concerning secular strife with religion and
the decline and rebuilding of civilizations.
That “nugget of truth” was what tempered my “Durant informed
response” when essentially the majority of “secular voices” sought
to destroy faith in society. Without Nat Phillip’s insights, I
wouldn’t have known enough (nor have the courage) to take the isolated
stances against aggressive secularism. Nat’s homiletics classes differed
from Trinity, he warned against “zeal without knowledge”, he
introduced us to Warren Wiersbe’s writings, the Yale Lecture Series and
the importance of teaching what the Bible taught (rather than one’s own
ideas). I was sad to see that Wiersbe passed in May 2019, confession, he
was my all-time favorite Bible expositor.
Glenn Swygart made
history so interesting and pertinent. I’m appreciative of Dr.
Hollingsworth’s instructions on education (especially those that seek to
change the definitions and usage of words). That wisdom helped/prepared me
against those wanting to re-define marriage; as it is rare for a
secular/skeptical writer to go against “gay marriage” …yet I took
that stance! Regina Siler taught debate and flipped my thinking on the
value of literature for a preacher. She got me hooked on timelines and
getting a grip on the context of placing oneself into the events of the
era of when the work was written. I’ll be forever appreciative for that
computer class that taught how to build databases. These two skills
(databases/timelines) merged as I have since built a 16,000+ line database
coupled as a historical timeline to assist me with better understanding
our world!
I cherished the few
memories of encounters with the great Chattanooga Presbyterian, Ben
Haden…what a great man! Five years after graduation I visited
Chattanooga and went to his church with my bride. He remembered me after
all that time. Ben had a way to connect with people and had a unique style
from the pulpit.
Earlier, I
mentioned my reluctance to go to Temple because of Afman’s reputation.
Sure enough, and soon enough I had classes with him. He knew of my
transfer from Trinity (a strong KJV school) and how I felt about the KJV.
I just couldn’t be a regular student. I
tell you; he went after me, I felt like a “marked” man at Temple
because of the KJV! Afman was a KJV hunter/slayer!
One day in class,
Afman seeking to make a buffoon of anyone preferring the KJV, picked a
fight with me in the classroom. I had avoided confrontation to the best of
my ability…but Afman wasn’t going to be denied! It took somewhere
until about the 4-6th week of classes for him to bait me. That
day he again belittled KJV people and I shook my head slightly (2-3
inches) and that was all it took, he was ready. He accosted me and asked
me what was wrong?
I told Afman in
front of the entire class that I thought he wasn’t being fair to those
of us that took the KJV position…that there is another vantage point
other than his own that simply hasn’t been taught. If it were taught,
that this vantagepoint was superior to the man in the pew in the
building up of faith. Afman said, “Do you really believe this?” I
said certainly! He then challenged me. He told me if I wanted to…he
would allot me 15 minutes of class time, on the last day before
Thanksgiving break, in front of the entire class with the stipulation that
he would also be permitted to critique and or rebut what was stated. He
said, if you can agree to these terms…prepare yourself and we will
engage on the last day before break. I said…” you’re on!”
Afman was very intimidating, as even he and the
cantankerous Peter Ruckman had been sparring publicly for at least a
decade! Some might say that Afman was the leading KJV foe in
Christendom…and he was on Tennessee Temple’s payroll.
Afman had this “chip on his shoulder” that in my and many
others’ opinion wasn’t healthy in a faith setting. I’m certain that
this point alone had a lot to do with dwindling enrollment numbers at TTU.
TTU
eventually closed , at one time it was one of the
largest “Independent Baptist” Christian schools in the country. I’m
adding these lines as I tell my story because leadership in faith
institutions should be cautious about who they allow to train their
preachers.
Bible
college/seminary is very different than a trade school or secular
institution. You can’t be uncertain on faith matters or else you will
lose your people to those with a “warmer thermostat.” In my view, a
fundamentalist faith institution must be absolute upon Bibliology.
Bibliology is “objective” while matters such as modes of baptism,
eschatology are “subjective” matters that can be forever argued by
people claiming faith.
Fundamentalists are
“tethered” with Bibliology while liberals are shifty, like a “kite
in the wind” and are in my opinion disingenuous using the church to
“bait” people while “switching” them over to “social justice
matters” that frequently contradict what the Bible teaches.
Christian liberals are leeches, they “borrow Christian capital”
…but they don’t believe the Book!
This wasn’t what I had envisioned when I went in pursuit of
ministerial training. My “gut” feeling while transferring was that TTU
was headed in the wrong direction…and that proved correct.
Passion is a very
important matter in life! People crave passion, its absence creates a
vacuum. The Bibliology anchor
is absent in liberal Christianity. This is why liberals “substitute”
(some say prostitute) themselves over to social justice matters. Liberal
churches are an oxymoron…or as Donald Trump has well
stated…”Everything liberals touch turns to shit.” Its not that I
hate liberal Christianity, it’s more a matter that it is illegitimate…authenticity
matters!
Sorry for that
detour, it was necessary, because I needed to “double down” on the
importance on this.
Finally, the Afman
KJV challenge presentation day came….I’m laughing because all of the
sudden…that class got “very crowded…it had about a dozen more people
than normal.” People that weren’t enrolled in the class suddenly
attended that one class after hearing about it…the stage was set, they
came to “sit in” on that session because the expectation was that
Afman was going to rough up a KJV advocate!
Afman was
intimidating, he would chew you up and spit you out! Word on campus was
that Brian Worley was next! One thing that I have always believed in is
that “truth fears no inquiry”. For as daunting and intimidating of a
challenge this was of presenting a KJV position to perhaps the toughest
living critic alive (all the while as a student and in front of my peers)
…I WAS PREPARED!
Frankly, I
couldn’t wait because I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I had a
strategy; I hit Afman with a presentation that I didn’t think he could
handle or want to tangle with! I didn’t go on apologetically or on
defense…I went on OFFENSE! I wanted to make Afman squirm for have taken
a faith degradation position and using his platform to “whip up” on
ministerial “preacher boys”. Damn right I was mad! Afman gave me an
opportunity…it was “carpe deim” for me! I walked into the
“lion’s den” that no one thought I’d survive…and walked out
unscathed!
For someone not
well acquainted with this issue, you have the Codex Vaticanus and Codex
Sinaiticus verses the Textus Receptus (which I preferred). To me, the real
issue was the content of those texts and upon translation into English
what and how they read to the man in the pew! Vaticanus & Sinaiticus
have glaring omissions that one should not and cannot just omit. I had
gathered these together and made a point of how these omissions weaken
confidence and Biblical doctrine. I had made an overhead for the projector
and showed how for example, I John 5: 7-8 was omitted in the NIV.
With this up upon
the screen and in front of everyone…I asked the question, “Where did I
John 5:7-8 go?” I didn’t ask that question rhetorically. No, I looked
Afman in the eyes and several others and they didn’t want any part of
that…I knew I had them! I then asked the question, “What would a
skeptic think when presented chapter and verse simply isn’t there?” I
point out that “this is one of the strongest verses in the Bible for the
Trinity…and you are willing to tell me that presenting a Bible that
slyly seeks to attempt to sail right pass these omitted verses is what you
want to present to the man in the pew?” I ask, “Seriously, do you
think this builds faith or diminishes faith?” I finished by stating that
those taking a reasoned KJV position do so for the contents and quality of
the texts…that anyone following Westcott/Hort and the Alexandrian texts
will always have to deal with a “faith diminishing” text.
The
Reaction?
I finished
presenting, took my slides down, curious of what the nasal toned voice of
Afman would say? Afman’s
response was short on words, all he said is that I did a good job of
presenting. What else could he say? He never attempted to re-but any of
my points! What was an intimidating situation for myself turned to my
favor, I proved my point, I stood up to Afman!
Oh, the confidence after this, no student had challenged Afman this
way…I’m certain this disappointed some that wanted to watch him
ridicule a KJV student. I was treated differently afterwards by staff and
students on campus as I knew several people were happy about that
presentation/confrontation. I was focused and humble in victory…I wanted
to finish at Tennessee Temple and get my degree.
The Tennessee
Temple years are where I really learned about Jesus…but not as you might
think. During my senior year, I was a weekend youth pastor about an
hour’s drive away from Chattanooga. I really enjoyed college life but
those were the most demanding years of balancing work, studies, and play.
There was an elderly widowed lady named Sally Buck that modeled Jesus that
I took note of. Sally was different than any other woman I had ever met in
life. At first, she kept after me to come over to her home and man, Sally
could cook! It isn’t that I didn’t want to go over…I was struggling
with time demands on studies and ministry…and well, she really liked to
talk. My better senses prevailed, lucky me, it turned into a joy visiting
her!
In candor, she told
me of how in her younger years she worked for Mr. Danner at Shoney’s Big
Boy restaurant. Raymond
Danner was one of the better businessmen in US history, see
the link of his obituary. Essentially, Sally Buck was a corporate spy with
a nice restaurant resume. Mr. Danner would pay and move her around
whenever he wanted to discover someone else’s business secrets. She
would get hired, and report back to Mr. Danner what she had learned from
competitors. It was Sally Buck’s recipe for Shoney’s carrot cake that
Shoney’s used throughout its chain. While she didn’t struggle, she
didn’t have much money. It was her compassion, concern that I noticed.
At Trinity, it was a driven soul winning “fishing for souls” and
earnestly contending for the faith culture school. Sally Buck modeled for
me the Jesus side that was a caretaker and ministered to the needs of
people as Jesus would have. Sally lived in what seemed to be subsidized
housing and there were many neighboring kids that their momma would
“lock the doors when a male visitor came over” and suddenly…the kids
were left outside. Ethnicity nor race mattered, Sally would watch over,
wipe their snotty little noses and feed them meals on her limited income.
Sally taught me a lot about life…she wasn’t a self-centered lady.
Sally loved people like Jesus did in the New Testament and I am so
grateful to her and how her faith impacted others on a limited income. You
may think it odd to mention this in context with ministerial
training…no, while she had nothing to do with TTU, Sally had a
tremendous influence upon me, showing what true Christianity actually
should look like!
Just prior before
graduation I had broken my foot in a youth versus the adult men football
game. The youth had never beaten the adult men…I coached the youth very
hard… and we won! Pressure due to heavy class load, the broken foot and
my getting ordained back in North Carolina forced me to resign the youth
pastor position 7-8 weeks before graduation. I loved that church and those
Tennessee people! There will always be a place in my heart for the Duncan
family for their hospitality and acquainting me with Sally Buck!
Closing thoughts on
TTU. I absolutely loved TTU! Trinity was a college, TTU was a university.
The quality of education at TTU was excellent! While you may have taken my
critique as negative, let me say that ministry was their “calling
card” and ultimately I’m giving my take that it was their lack of
detail (especially in Bibliology) that caused them to lose enrollment.
That said, the difference between a Bible college and a university is
significant. Dr. Richard Young made me think more than any other Christian
than I’d ever encountered in my life! I just didn’t have the time to
pursue the subject matter…he was outstanding! One last word on Afman,
his class on Bible Study Methods was an eye opener for me! No sarcasm, I
meant it. That was an excellent class! Why, one of the methods he taught
was how to study the Bible critically…well, here we are! TTU has some
great alumni. I remember my thoughts of the talents of several of my
classmates and curious of what they might do afterwards… see Pedro
Echevarria . Sad to see what happened with TTU
closing.
Post
graduation anecdotes
Perhaps I could have communicated this
better, in a nutshell, here is what I wished that society understood about
Ex-Minister. This website stands between two differing societal
passions of faith/religion and unbelief/skepticism.
Balance between these two viewpoints hasn’t been my goal;
authenticity matters and to do what is best for society, that has
been my goal. For the parts of society that does not engage
with religion nor believe in God – I’d ask you if religion
“triggers” you…why is that? I too don’t believe in any
religion. I was trained as a minister, got a degree, was ordained, was
on church staffs’ but for conscious reasons couldn’t continue and
walked away (at great cost for my career) and now have one of the oldest
(21 yrs) skeptical websites on the web. I think our
response/reaction to religion matters and it ought to be an informed
response. Let’s take the “puffed up” ego out of our departure
responses. I don’t understand the “ugly divorce” departure from
faith, like you’re seeking to “burn down” the house behind you
because your angry. If you feel superior then be superior by
understanding the social underpinnings that religion and faith bring/have
in society. Once you do this, you’ll end up where Will Durant
ended up and this is the version of secularism that is healthy for
society! To religious people of faith, a number of you have treated me
horribly. That is stupid, ungodly and uninformed. This website was started
just prior to the New Atheist Movement’s thrust into society. Don’t
look to me for affirmation of your creed, I no longer believe and will
never come back. I’m against “unbelief evangelism” and don’t seek
to make unbelievers from people of faith. However, if a person of
faith lands upon my website and is curious why I left…they will find
legitimate affirmation of their questioning. That is, for those who read.
It was never my intention to be vile, demeaning, nor arrogant with
unbelief. I was once a true believer and I do understand the turmoil of
cognitive dissonance that led myself away from faith. Unbelief is one
thing; the intentions of the New Atheists bothered me as much as it
bothered you! I’m a Deist, I believe in God, again I’m not trying to
convert you. So, the arrogance of the NA crowd annoys me too. My Deism
isn’t a compromise or a hedging position…again I’m authentic. Deists
are much better positioned and equipped to contend with the
atheists…there is a vacuum, I never got necessary funding to do what
I’ve wanted to do. The numbers are clear, faith/religion numbers keep
declining…you’re losing. Again, you have people fighting for your way
of life but they keep losing ground. You need effective people. My
familiarity with skeptics from the New Atheist (NA) surge opened my eyes
that it was about much more than the myths of scripture but some have
intentions to upset the traditional societal flow of American life. That
crowd got funding, organized to wreak havoc on our way of life…that
struggle is real! My version of secularism…well I saw what they did to
Paul Kurtz and his organization due to his different mindset. From that
time forward those organizations have been cantankerous. My Ex-Minister
Ideas were just that, ideas that needed but never got funding.
Most every organization, heck most people, work or pander for
money. Money often gets into the way of objectivity. The NA crowd wars
against society, religion and they get paid to do so…they would never be
objective…that’s why they threw out Kurtz. Objectively, the god
presented in the Bible fails to have the credentials or attributes one
would expect of God. If an individual has the capacity & objectively
looks at the Bible…they will have to decide. Like I did. Objectively,
the platform or infrastructure for doing good in society has a religious
base. Religion is imperfect, but there is absolutely nothing in society
positioned or engaging the issues that theology addresses. Durant is
helpful here “on the emancipation from theology”
We
frolic in our emancipation from theology, but have we developed a natural
ethic – a moral code independent of religion – strong enough to keep
our instincts of acquisition, pugnacity, and sex from debasing our
civilization into a mire of greed, crime and promiscuity?
In
my eyes, unless one has something better to offer than NO, nothing
independent of religion understands this question, engages or has answers!
This is why a para-church organization like ex-minister needs to be in
place. The destruction and degradation of religion are vital matters.
People like myself (ex-ministers) should have a deep understanding of
this…but the majority don’t! The institutions need cleaning up. The
vacuum is apparent; religion and theology have an important role. If the
churches could fix their problems…they would have already done so. Its
evident they cannot. An entity from the skeptical side (Ex-Minister) needs
to be authentic as a skeptic yet lead (with support) to set the tone
against those that war against these matters as understood by Durant. By
the way, Durant was headed towards the ministry…then turned away…he
became one of the best historians ever. He was a prolific writer. You’ll
see two links at the center/bottom of the main website page if you want to
grasp his wisdom.
My last couple of years within
Christianity were a doctrinal struggle. Squaring Israel was problematic, as
was the “template” of scripture (dispensationalism) that was being
pushed. In time after graduation, I saw through the manipulation and freed
myself from it. Lodi,
California had a strong John Birch Society (I have positive views on
them…I saw through the public shaming of the JBS). In that time, they
had a guest speaker, author Tal Brooke. After his speech, I personally
asked him about Schofield and his affiliations of the Lotus Club. He also
affirmed his concerns. I had become aware of some strong Reformed Theology
ministers and Jay Adam’s writings were so intriguing. Adams, “The Time
is at Hand” affirmed my unease and that the Amillennial view made more
scriptural sense than the Pre-Millennial or Post-Millennial viewpoints.
Loved his utilization of “diplopia” to describe what the majority of
Christianity fell for. Adams’ counseling books were often utilized as
Christian college textbooks. For those unaware of Church history,
Amillennialism was prevalent prior to Schofield. The falling away from
that view has been detrimental to Christianity.
After TTU graduation, prior to
departing for California, I visited family in Baltimore and took in an
Orioles game. Mind you, I’m 500 miles from my WNC home and Trinity
Baptist College’s Alethian Singers themselves were 750 miles away from
Jacksonville, FL. Yet, coincidentally we had a chance meeting at Memorial
Stadium. Tom Messer was leading that group of touring Alethian Singers. I
mention it here because two years later, upon a chance meeting, Messer
once again kept his silence. It would have meant a lot to me for him
(since he was now outside of that boardroom) and with two years of
hindsight to reflect on that ugliness he participated in. Later, at the
end of this Part III, I want to get into religious institution’s
utilization of plausible deniability and how it wars against faith.
Three years before I left Christianity,
I did pulpit supply in California and worked with Olan Mills as a Church
Division rep. Red Lanford had discussed with me the possibility of a
national role with the company prior to my leaving the faith. I had
approximately 1,500 churches that I called upon, from S. Lake Tahoe down
to Monterey County. Those three years “broadened & diversified” my
understanding of churches other than those of a Baptist persuasion. I
spent a lot of time with Adventists, Catholics, Lutherans, Methodists,
Nazarenes, Presbyterians, Reformed and the Charismatics. In fact, one of
those Placerville churches used an former member’s work (Thomas Kinkade)
for the cover of their directory. The
Adventist churches were tremendous with natural health insights. I’d
remind the world that the Adventist churches provided a platform in which
the world has been blessed by Barbara O’Neill. All in all, there were
many great experiences! Today when many choose to downgrade the
church…I’ll say they have limited perspectives and the inability to
differentiate between subjective and objective criticism. Sure, there is
some real scum within the churches. However, some of the best people
I’ve ever met were church people and ministers!
With Olan Mills, I met or got to know:
The pastor that attempted to “sell his church” in Ripon, California.
Gary Condit’s pastor (respected him). Father Robert Silva, President
of the National Federation of Priests’ Councils, who sought to
recruit me, I discuss
some of it here.
Was acquainted with several of the infamous pedophile Central California
Catholic priests. Father Michael Kelly’s name in this group stunned me.
Why? Though he was
demanding, he was open, never evasive with me though several of his
colleagues were. Allegations later; Kelly fled the country.
In
hindsight, if you ask my opinion, I’d say that the Catholic priests were
the better trained/educated of all the denominations. The Charismatics, by
in large, were difficult.
I hadn’t planned to mention the
Domelle’s anymore in this series, however, several people (one was her
friend) have contacted me, telling me that Melissa (one of Domelle’s
victims) committed suicide. Circa 2023. Perhaps I’ve been lied to, I
haven’t been able to find her obituary to verify. I’ve been told that
life never got better for her…thus she took her own life as an escape.
They’ve said she left behind children. Society is sick. Is it so sick
that a suicide victim’s memory is best forgotten? I’ll stop with the
speculation because her obituary would be a difficult one to write. So
much so that it inevitably seems that someone thought it best for society
that her memory (even in an obituary) never be made public? Melissa’s
suicide & personal events in my life have gotten me to reflect upon
what another can do for someone else to alleviate suffering, assist them
out of a dire situation and remove what impedes justice. The plausible
deniability tactic stands in the way. How does one attack this problem in
churches?
Under my breath, I’m curious why path
been in life has been around so many church pedophiles? Gripping about it
would be unproductive, perhaps God’s providence had me there because
there was something that needed to be done? Starting with Carolina,
Trinity, Domelle’s and with Olan Mills in California around Catholic
Diocese’s doing directories. Had I not lost faith and remained in the
ministry; I’d likely be lifelong friends with Allen (Donald Domelle’s
son). Could you imagine how your life would be impacted if a member of the
family did what Donald did? Personally, if Allen did what was right and
proper, I’d do my best to clear his name from the innuendos if
Ex-Minister was functional. I was head of his ordination council. The
Allen I knew had an excellent work ethic and I respected him. He, Patrick
(his brother-in-law) and I would go soul winning for hours in Salinas.
There are numerous good people in churches, yet when something terrible
happens…most of the time aspersions follow those associated with the
guilty. False guilt is also a terrible thing! What did they know? When did
they know? Did they take steps to resolve, assist the victim, take it a
step further towards law enforcement? Did they help cover things up
because this would rightfully kill their church? There needs to be a third
party, independent buffer between the victim and churches set up to
properly address the situation. Let’s say there was and the church took
all the recommended steps? Then, this third-party organization could clear
the names…this would be a good thing. Let’s say they didn’t…then a
public report (kind of like a credit score rating) is open for all
(parishioners and prospects) to judge for themselves when they are
considering a church.
Approximately,
six years after I had walked away from Christianity was when I heard the
news about Donald Domelle’s arrest and imprisonment. First, I’m glad
that Domelle admitted his guilt and “fell on his sword”. The legal
system followed through and perhaps by now Domelle has satisfied his time
in the penal system. I’m being objective and candid here. Ugly has
it’s been, I’m glad that the worldwide church sex crime/blackmail/pedo/Epstein
files have gotten daylight…hope that it’s more than just
“exposure” there needs to be incarceration, death penalty, loss of
assets that the public needs to see taking place if trust in our
institutions matters. Let’s say that these matters are
“satisfactory” dealt with. I’m one that thinks institutions need to
have safeguards in place. In churches, often a scandalous minister moves
far away and starts anew. Looking back at the Domelle situation…I’d
have a difficult clearing his name due to the company he kept. What I’ve
always known is that Donald Domelle’s parents were married in Hammond,
IN (I believe they were Mennonites). Of course, all Independent
Baptist’s recognize Hammond for the influence of Jack Hyles. In my
estimation, Hyles was one of the most interesting preachers…he drew
crowds whenever he spoke. Donald knew Hyles well, Jack Hyles performed
Donald & Margaret’s wedding; his son Allen went to Hyles-Anderson.
With friends like Hyles, you would be naïve to give the Domelle’s the
benefit of the doubt. Oh, the shenanigans that went on at First Baptist of
Hammond seemed never ending!
Leaders that “disgrace Christ” need
to “fall upon their swords”. It is selfish NOT to! It’s the
institution/faith that is important…not their sorry ass. Any church that
obscures/hides things that should be public disclosure are enemies of the
faith! Sure, that church will suffer (perhaps needing to close) but
don’t worry other churches are in place to absorb the congregants.
My little website has been detrimental
to myself. Most people critical hide behind a pseudo-name (which is wise).
I’ve kept secrets on several people posting on the website. Some obscure
items that I thought were excellent had me contact the author for
reposting permission. You
might find this interesting, the pages by K.J. Aaron, especially
Biblical
Euphemisms for Sexual Activity
has often been #1 in searches on the subject matter over
the years. My life has been exponentially more difficult because of what I
do…but I have chosen to not hide behind anything because I’m not
cut-out that way. Being public draws some risks. Amongst them, I’ve been
approached by Fabians, Bohemian Grove people, people with Owls on their
business cards. Been harassed often and been fired without cause numerous
times despite being one of the best at what I do.
One day, 2003 or 2004, while managing a
high-end leather furniture manufacturer, The Leather Factory in San
Francisco, a man walked in speaking on his cell phone about a very large
dollar number for a staircase on a building project. I had no idea who he
was. He was adamantly loud in decibels; I couldn’t help overhearing the
conversation…I just knew that he better not “try to Jew me down” on
top quality leather pricing. That man was Eveyln Rothschild. Eventually
(after a few visits) I closed the deal…however, I’ve never knew anyone
as persistent as he. The guy literally had as much money as anyone in the
world, yet, here he was haggling with me on pricing. It could be that he
was sizing me up? Now, I didn’t know who he was at first…learned that
later. At about the same time, my wife (now ex-wife) was contacted by
Janet Yellen for an interview. Looking back, my household had meetings
with two of the most powerful people on earth (I don’t think it was a
coincidence…but intentional). In
hindsight, I think Rothschild was “sizing me up” as well as Yellen
with my wife. Yes, I don’t know the degree, but I believe powerful
people had interfered in my life.
About the time I left Latvia and
returned to the US, a California non-profit re-designed my website. I
believe they had Democratic Party affiliations with Jimmy Carter. I’ve
disappointed many along the way because I didn’t lean left. Part of the
reason I chose to remain public (rather than be incognito) was that
authenticity matters if you want to inspire others. I’ve strongly
disagreed with the lefts’ version of Christianity!
I was naïve about the world of
unbelief and skepticism upon leaving the faith. In the faith world,
you’re commanded to congregate. I carried the same mindset into
unbelief…and I thought it was all about likeminded people who didn’t
believe? What I found was that the organized groups had a differing
mindset with 95% + being of a left-wing mindset. What “fueled” them
was LGBT matters & funding. Why? Because the book condemns them for
it. I found people resenting me for being married to a woman. That is
insane! My unique take in penning the 2011 “The Secular Case Against Gay
Marriage” was 100% against the changing the definition of bedrock terms.
That article drew the rath of secularism. Nobody could or attempted to
refute any of my points...they were lit! So much for free-thinking. Gay
people are creative…come up with a term to define unions that you want
to recognize as legitimate matrimony…just don’t call it marriage. Now,
I never accused Cardinal McCarrick for plagiarizing my work when he posted
similar viewpoints to my writing (seems evident he did since nobody had
espoused these ideas previously). Both the Pope and Obama frequented my
website for an extended period of time. I also think conservative groups
like “The Heritage Foundation” laid down as ineffectual opposition and
I had said as much to Ryan Anderson. Skeptical reaction, controlled
opposition to that article awakened me to the real nature of people within
skepticism and yes, even conservatives.
Shame I didn’t have support because
my viewpoints were inconvenient and unwanted by groups that didn’t want
my viewpoints being disseminated. People were nasty! My convictions were
true and they were strong…I wasn’t going to be muzzled! Turns out that
one’s reach gets limited and your thrust with numerous shenanigans. So
many things that I’ve wanted to do, things that needed to be done and
yet I couldn’t. Their opposition has been effective to neutralize me.
Anyone effective who stands against these crowds knows what I’m talking
about.
Maintaining a website cost money,
without that support I’ve scrapped to “old school methods” to add to
or work the website. Personally, I saw how Paul Kurtz had the organization
he had founded taken away from himself. So many shenanigans to be wary of,
I don’t trust the Fabians, skeptics, nor do I trust the British. In the early days, before Microsoft phased out Front Page, I was
able to do many things without anyone’s help.
There have been two very special people
that encouraged me along the way. First, Paul Kurtz. Kurtz was a prolific
writer; he was even called “the Father of Secular Humanism”. Before he
died we exchanged a few emails and we had a few phone conversations. We
had both met Jerry Falwell and Kurtz spoke well of him…even though they
greatly disagreed with each other. I had also (chance encounter) met his
son, Jerry Jr., and it was a memorable experience! Evidentially Kurtz secularism
wasn’t “combative enough” and thus radicals warred against him to
the point he lost control of the organization of which he founded. I
cherished the memories, his advice and encouragement. Finally got the meet
him in person at the 2011 Neuroscience Conference at the Potomac
Institute.
Michael Novak was special! Michael was
such a gracious and accomplished gentleman. I had reached out to him for
advice, and we discussed several ideas that would be good for society and
Christianity. He seemed enthusiastic about what I’ve been seeking to do.
Keep in mind, this was in the midst of the New Atheists’ onslaught. In
my mind, Michael was THE guy that had the capacity and wherewithal to do
something good in these realms! He was fighting cancer, fought it hard.
Loved the guy!
https://www.michaelnovak.net/
The
Spirit of Democratic Capitalism , 1994
Templeton Prize for Progress in Religion
What started my departure from
Christianity was NOT personality driven. Let me make that clear! Despite
all the darkened souls I had become acquainted with… it was the book
itself that drove me away from faith.
Peoples’ belief in God is subjective, and it should always be
that way! However, when you bring that message to the public square and
ask/preach demanding that people accept it…at that point you are
offering up an objective claim that is subject to scrutiny. Messengers
absolutely need to believe it themselves and be ready for that scrutiny!
In time, I reached the point that I no longer believed it. What started
that descent was my reading the Bible thru in a year upon reading Judges
1:19. To believe in God one absolutely would agree that God must me
omnipotent. That verse obliterates God’s omnipotence if God cannot
“drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of
iron.” That troubled me and drove me to study deeper. That was the
start, Afman’s class on reading the Bible critically as a Bible Study
Method had taken seed. Still, it took some time before I walked away.
I’ve wondered why “my path” has
crossed with an inordinate number of cruel, compromised people? So many
synchronicity events in my life. Question is why? If you can relate,
don’t play “poor me” but rather look at choices you have made and
stop complaining about it. The existential part of me senses that there is
meaning (often in mean situations) and something needing to be done or
observed if one believes, as I do, that God exists. A materialist asks,
“what’s in it for me”? while a spiritual person asks, “why am I
here and what shall I do?” How one responds to the situation determines
your path. God utilizes
imperfect, pliable people that want to be useful. Are you willing and
available or never used because you are stuck in the material world? I’ve
had a love for books & have built a large library; most books are from
second hand and thrift stores. Digging & searching for the why has had
me searching through hidden, esoteric and occult content…however, I’ve
concluded that there are spiritual reasons for the path. Pardon my candor,
but this is therapy for me. In this thought exposes the “prosperity
wolves”. People mistakenly expect to be Divinely rewarded or expect
Divine justice for the good things they have done. These are theological
mistakes is you are a Christian. My experience is that isn’t how God
necessarily works, history proves this. When one thinks of all the Holy
Book expectations…these are materialistic motivations. So many religious
people are motivated by blessings, 72 virgins, Heaven, etc.... hello, that
is material motivation. In a
nutshell, this is why the world has gotten to the state in which we find
it; people have a materialist mindset…even in religious circles.
Shedding that baggage preps one to focus on why you’re “there” and
what you need to do? In my case and ex-minister, I’ve always sensed that
my very unique path “smacked me in the face” with existential
questions. All along the way there was purpose that I needed to figure
out. Why the cruelty of my parents & family? The Trinity Baptist
College matters that lead me to Tennessee Temple. What I found was that
TTU prepped me for the eventual radical forces I would later face as a
skeptic, it fortified me to stand against the New Atheist movement. Timing
mattered because somebody needed to stand against that movement within
skepticism. That was a pivotal moment and I was the only person that knew
of and thrust Wil Durant/ Santayana insights to the public. Those insights
are irrefutable; they had a timely impact. A skeptic between both
passions! I wouldn’t have gotten that if I had stayed at Trinity! TTU
had me to stiffen my neck and confront Afman. The seeming impossible
victory against Afman gave me the confidence to confront wayward
skepticism & those rushing towards gay marriage when no one else knew
what to do or say about it…thank you TTU! What I never anticipated was
the impact of Sally Buck in my life. Fundamentalists are renown for their
fight; love and the love of Christ need manifestation.
Robert Price & myself were the only
two people with skeptical websites that were for Trump! I even had Trump icons
on this website. There were repercussions for this, so be it! I went to
his 2016 pre-election rally in Leesburg. Skepticism is a great tool, but I
must confess that with all the ideological positions that I agree with
Trump on…several things rile up my skepticism. I mention this in passing
to point the differences between cynicism & skepticism along the way.
At times, and I think it’s fair to say, that “faith propositions”
seemed like our options. Faith propositions aren’t to my liking, but I
haven’t given in to cynicism. We’ll see what happens. What I’ve
learned from skepticism is to know what you know – and to know what you
don’t know. There are many things that none of us know. Another chance
encounter was speaking with a military intelligence guy about how weird
our world had gotten and of my concerns. He wouldn’t crack but did
indicate that something was going on and that he couldn’t talk about it.
In my eyes, Trump is cooking, my skepticism sees it and I’ve sought to
refrain from voicing my skepticism. I may be proven wrong about this;
however, I’ll retain skepticism and am rooting for President Trump still
to this day!
My
observation is that 95%+ of skepticism (places/personalities) are lefties…that wasn’t my crowd.
Virtually all were Democrats & intolerant to any other talking points.
If I challenged any they would fold, then isolate dissent. In the early
days, I would share some of my work to Exchristian.net. That sight, at
that time drove so much traffic to my website. Dave found I wasn't a lefty
& got uppidy with me. His mistake, I embarassed him so bad he
did something unpresidented...he instantly vanished the public chat
because I made him look foolish. These
same types are for “choice” to abort babies…however, the same were NOT for choice
when it came to the “clot shot”. They must be getting funding from big
pharma. They demanded mandatory vaccination. It blew my mind that the eugenic
death merchant Fauci won Humanist of the Year. I think
numerous people listened to what the Humanists/New Atheists had to say.
They too had enough discernment to see they were wrong about global
warming fanaticism, Covid hysteria & the role of religion in society.
Skepticism is great when authentic…by in large, I see organized
skepticism as hired hands.
What
about you?
Frankly,
I could care less if you do or don’t have faith. I want the world to be
a better place and I hope you too will do your part to make it better.
Please, find a way. I’ve been candid by communicating some of my
experiences. What if much of the world that found themselves in a
compromised field, trade or way of life said…enough is enough! What if
you walked away from something for the reason that it may adversely affect
your fellow man?
·
What keeps you in line?
·
What provokes you to stray?
·
Are you loyal to your vows?
·
What are your values?
·
Do you use people?
·
Do you do what you say you’ll do? Keep your word?
·
Are you manipulative? Controlling?
·
Is money your God?
I’ll end with some Durant.
We
frolic in our emancipation from theology, but have we developed a natural
ethic – a moral code independent of religion – strong enough to keep
our instincts of acquisition, pugnacity, and sex from debasing our
civilization into a mire of greed, crime and promiscuity?
"Hence
a certain tension between religion and society marks the higher stages of
every civilization. Religion begins by offering magical aid to harassed
and bewildered men; it culminates by giving to a people that unity of
morals and belief which seems so favorable to statesmanship and art; it
ends by fighting suicidally in the lost cause of the past. For as
knowledge grows or alters continually, it clashes with mythology and
theology, which change with geological leisureliness. Priestly control of
arts and letters is then felt as a galling shackle or hateful barrier, and
intellectual history takes on the character of a "conflict between
science and religion." Institutions which were at first in the hands
of the clergy, like law and punishment, education and morals, marriage and
divorce, tend to escape from ecclesiastical control, and become secular,
perhaps profane. The intellectual classes abandon the ancient theology
and-after some hesitation- the moral code allied with it; literature and
philosophy become anticlerical. The movement of liberation rises to an
exuberant worship of reason, and falls to a paralyzing disillusionment
with every dogma and every idea. Conduct, deprived of its religious
supports, deteriorates into epicurean chaos; and life itself, shorn of
consoling faith, becomes a burden alike to conscious poverty and to weary
wealth. In the end a society and its religion tend to fall together, like
body and soul, in a harmonious death. Meanwhile among the oppressed
another myth arises, gives new form to human hope, new courage to human
effort, and after centuries of chaos builds another civilization."
Will
& Ariel Durant
"The
Story of Civilization V.1"
Brian Worley Ex-Minister.org March 15, 2026 All Rights Reserved